Modesty - a post that's been simmering {part 2}
I posted this last week and I wanted to do a follow-up on part 2.
I wanted to ask this question and see if any of y'all can help me understand the answer - for I am having a hard time finding one:
Why do some women of faith feel the need to push the line when it comes to dressing modestly? (bikinis, tight pants, peek-a-boo dresses, etc.)
Some definitions of the word modest (according to Google):
:not too proud or confident about yourself or your abilities
:not showing of feeling great or excessive pride
of clothing: not showing too much of a person's body- okay, why then, do some of you parade around in 'naught but your skin?
I have this letter that I wanted to share - mind you I made the whole thing up, so none of it's real. I just thought that maybe this would be an easier way to start the conversation.
Dearest friend;
Thank you so very much for your sweet letter! Yes, all the children are doing well (I thought that I'd "spice" this letter up a bit *winks*), and the farm is still is working order - though there are days when I don't think we get anything done! Still, God continues to bless my little mess and I am thankful.
I am sorry to hear that you are going through a rough patch.
I recall you sharing with me a story of a young lady in your church. You told me that she loves the Lord more passionately than anyone you've ever met and that - and I quote - "[you] are encouraged by her faith." You continued to tell me that you had invited her to a water-park with a few other people from your church as kind of a little get-together. I can still hear you telling me, "I couldn't believe she came to the park wearing an itsy-bitsy bikini! I was so embarrassed. Two of my brothers were there and they are both godly men who highly value purity; they greatly esteem God's Word and what it says on staying pure for their future wives. It really made me upset, Margret (this is NOT my real name, just a pen name). I feel like as women we are slowly pulling away from what the Bible actually says about covering up, and we, in turn, are making up our own guidelines."
(End of fake letter)
Hum...
All I ever hear these days is about how to "be confident"; how to "love yourself first". While I do think that it's good to be comfortable in your skin and content with how God designed you (yes, He did design us each very differently), I don't think it's good to be a stumbling block to your brothers in Christ. Let's face it, they struggle enough as it is! And we aren't helping the matter - I'm not saying that we are at the core of the problem, but I DO think we play a big part in this issue, I'm afraid.
I know that it's a matter of choice (to wear a bikini and immodest things of that nature), but I cannot think of any logical reason why a Christian woman would even want to wear one. The Bible is FULL of guidelines that we are given to follow, not to take suggestions from and then pick and chose the ones we like. Let me be the first one to say that I struggle with these guidelines sometimes - I'm a sinner and it is my human nature to resist God's guidelines. After all, it was Eve who desired that forbidden fruit; she chose (knowing fully that it was wrong) to go against God.
You may ask "Well, if I'm not to be confident in my body, then what am I to be confident in?"
God's Word says,
"Being confident of this very thing, that he which hath begun a good work in you will perform it until the day of Jesus Christ" (Philippians 1:6 - KJV)
We are all guilty of being vain - I'm the first offender *raises hand*
Just this morning I was praying for the Lord to humble my prideful heart - this came after reading one of Charles H. Spurgeon's daily devotions.
"But thou didst trust in thine own beauty..." Eze 16:15
"Throughout the ages, women have failed to trust in the Lord, and have trusted in their own beauty." Is that why? Because you trust SO much in how you look, that how you appear doesn't even enter onto your radar?
My brothers are good men who struggle enough as it is - like all Christian men in the world. What they don't need is a lady of the Lord waltzing around in a low-cut dress or short-shots to cause them to stumble. Am I saying that we must be covered from head to toe in a sack? Absolutely not (remember this post?).
However, I am saying that I think we all need to take a better look at what we are wearing and what our clothes are saying about our faith. I for one am not married, and I pray that my future husband is out there somewhere preparing himself for me (and vice-versea). Do I really want to cause him to stumble? No, I do not. For those who are married, I ask you to consider this: even if your husband doesn't mind if you wear that low-cut dress or those tight pants, that doesn't mean that someone else's husband (or just other godly men!) won't stumble whenever you are a round. Sometimes even women are uncomfortable around ladies who dress that way - I can even be that way. Does that make sense?
If anything ladies (single and married), please, please take a second look in the mirror before you leave the house - I say this to myself as well. Single gals, please don't use the excuse "there are no real good men left, so why bother covering up?" There are still good, godly men out there! They haven't all disappeared! Remember: God's timing is perfect. Nothing happens later than it should on His grand watch.
Maybe we should all get into the habit of praying before we head out the door; maybe we should do a double-take in the mirror and ask ourselves, "Is this honoring God or is it fulfilling a selfish need in myself; do I want attention with this outfit, or do I want to please the Lord?"
"Favour is deceitful, and beauty is vain: but a woman that fearteth the LORD, she shall be praised." Prov. 31:30 KJV
In His Ever Loving Hands,
Sarah
*All images came from Google*
I wanted to ask this question and see if any of y'all can help me understand the answer - for I am having a hard time finding one:
Why do some women of faith feel the need to push the line when it comes to dressing modestly? (bikinis, tight pants, peek-a-boo dresses, etc.)
Some definitions of the word modest (according to Google):
:not too proud or confident about yourself or your abilities
:not showing of feeling great or excessive pride
of clothing: not showing too much of a person's body- okay, why then, do some of you parade around in 'naught but your skin?
I have this letter that I wanted to share - mind you I made the whole thing up, so none of it's real. I just thought that maybe this would be an easier way to start the conversation.
Dearest friend; Thank you so very much for your sweet letter! Yes, all the children are doing well (I thought that I'd "spice" this letter up a bit *winks*), and the farm is still is working order - though there are days when I don't think we get anything done! Still, God continues to bless my little mess and I am thankful.
I am sorry to hear that you are going through a rough patch.
I recall you sharing with me a story of a young lady in your church. You told me that she loves the Lord more passionately than anyone you've ever met and that - and I quote - "[you] are encouraged by her faith." You continued to tell me that you had invited her to a water-park with a few other people from your church as kind of a little get-together. I can still hear you telling me, "I couldn't believe she came to the park wearing an itsy-bitsy bikini! I was so embarrassed. Two of my brothers were there and they are both godly men who highly value purity; they greatly esteem God's Word and what it says on staying pure for their future wives. It really made me upset, Margret (this is NOT my real name, just a pen name). I feel like as women we are slowly pulling away from what the Bible actually says about covering up, and we, in turn, are making up our own guidelines."
(End of fake letter)
Hum...
All I ever hear these days is about how to "be confident"; how to "love yourself first". While I do think that it's good to be comfortable in your skin and content with how God designed you (yes, He did design us each very differently), I don't think it's good to be a stumbling block to your brothers in Christ. Let's face it, they struggle enough as it is! And we aren't helping the matter - I'm not saying that we are at the core of the problem, but I DO think we play a big part in this issue, I'm afraid.
I know that it's a matter of choice (to wear a bikini and immodest things of that nature), but I cannot think of any logical reason why a Christian woman would even want to wear one. The Bible is FULL of guidelines that we are given to follow, not to take suggestions from and then pick and chose the ones we like. Let me be the first one to say that I struggle with these guidelines sometimes - I'm a sinner and it is my human nature to resist God's guidelines. After all, it was Eve who desired that forbidden fruit; she chose (knowing fully that it was wrong) to go against God.
You may ask "Well, if I'm not to be confident in my body, then what am I to be confident in?"
God's Word says,
"Being confident of this very thing, that he which hath begun a good work in you will perform it until the day of Jesus Christ" (Philippians 1:6 - KJV)
We are all guilty of being vain - I'm the first offender *raises hand*
Just this morning I was praying for the Lord to humble my prideful heart - this came after reading one of Charles H. Spurgeon's daily devotions.
"But thou didst trust in thine own beauty..." Eze 16:15
"Throughout the ages, women have failed to trust in the Lord, and have trusted in their own beauty." Is that why? Because you trust SO much in how you look, that how you appear doesn't even enter onto your radar?
My brothers are good men who struggle enough as it is - like all Christian men in the world. What they don't need is a lady of the Lord waltzing around in a low-cut dress or short-shots to cause them to stumble. Am I saying that we must be covered from head to toe in a sack? Absolutely not (remember this post?).
However, I am saying that I think we all need to take a better look at what we are wearing and what our clothes are saying about our faith. I for one am not married, and I pray that my future husband is out there somewhere preparing himself for me (and vice-versea). Do I really want to cause him to stumble? No, I do not. For those who are married, I ask you to consider this: even if your husband doesn't mind if you wear that low-cut dress or those tight pants, that doesn't mean that someone else's husband (or just other godly men!) won't stumble whenever you are a round. Sometimes even women are uncomfortable around ladies who dress that way - I can even be that way. Does that make sense?
If anything ladies (single and married), please, please take a second look in the mirror before you leave the house - I say this to myself as well. Single gals, please don't use the excuse "there are no real good men left, so why bother covering up?" There are still good, godly men out there! They haven't all disappeared! Remember: God's timing is perfect. Nothing happens later than it should on His grand watch. Maybe we should all get into the habit of praying before we head out the door; maybe we should do a double-take in the mirror and ask ourselves, "Is this honoring God or is it fulfilling a selfish need in myself; do I want attention with this outfit, or do I want to please the Lord?"
"Favour is deceitful, and beauty is vain: but a woman that fearteth the LORD, she shall be praised." Prov. 31:30 KJV
In His Ever Loving Hands,
Sarah
*All images came from Google*
Thanks again so much, Sarah! I actually read this the day you posted it last week...and I wanted to let you know that your conclusion was so encouraging to me! Particularly the part about God's timing. It was such a wonderful reminder that nothing can or does happen "too late" in God's timing. ...so hard to remember sometimes. Anyhow, I actually shared it with my parents as it kept recurring to me several times over the past few days. :-) Thank you, Sarah!
ReplyDeleteGlory be to God! You are so very welcome. :-) This was a very God-healing post for me and I am glad to know that you were touched by it.
DeleteHeidi, I am with you 100%. When I wrote the part about waiting I silently thanked the Lord because even though it IS hard waiting (especially when you see most of your friends get married; have children, that sort of thing), His timing is just right and He has me just where He wants me to be. :-) I know it's hard, Heidi, but He DOES have a plan for our lives, and that IS exciting!
I'm faltered that you showed it to your parents - may I ask what they thought?
Again, I am so glad that you enjoyed this and that God used it in your life! He is so wonderful!
Yes, I was actually sharing it verbally and mostly the ending (in the car and during a late-night conversation) and they were blessed and encouraged by it. :-) …but they would agree with the dress issues, too. (It’s always been a big topic at our house—discussing how wisdom and discretion and modesty all factor together in the big picture.)
DeleteAnd that perpetual nagging question of “Am I pretty enough?” is a really hard one to silence. But I wholeheartedly agree that it can’t be fixed in a godly way by band-aid answers of, “Just be yourself, be comfortable with who you are,” etc. Aside from any deeper issues, that sort of mentality just never lasts because it’s dependent on us. Even just trying to keep your eyes off yourself is hard—because it has a tendency to pop up again. One thing that’s really helped me (and I heard this in a sermon a couple years ago with this bit speaking directly to young women in particular) is in realizing that God has created each of us exactly as He wants us and He considers His creation beautiful. That’s where we find our confidence and security—and it’s really tremendously freeing! Does that make sense?
Yes, modesty is a big discussion in our house as well - especially among my sisters and I. Where did dressing like women go? It seems to have disappeared - it hasn't, but it's frustrating all the same, you know.
DeleteAnd yes, that makes sense. I think that there is way too much pressure out there on girls (women of all ages, really) to "love yourself" and (like I said in my post) while I think it's very important to praise God for the way He made you, I think it's foolish also to just say that you love yourself just for the sake of making yourself feel better, you know? And that's a really good point you shared!: "He considers His creation beautiful." I like that. :) It IS freeing, so much more than what people realize. My prayer is that He raises up a nation that Loves and Fears Him.