Count it all joy
I know that I should blog way more than I actually am, but it seems that even after all my school, I still have little time to just sit down and write! So here is a little bit of something that I've been working on for a few weeks that I wanted to share with each of you.
God, You are good. Every single thing that comes to pass in my life is intended for my good and Your glory. I thank You.
That sentence is easily proclaimed when times are good; family members are healthy, friends are abundant and faithful. But, why it so very hard for me to utter when the sun sinks into the horizon, out of view and the day grows cold?
My birthday week (the week of the 1st) I was tested in a way that I never thought I would be tested. Due to "normal" routine with people who are prone to having seizures, I was scheduled by my doctor to have an MRI.
I was a bit nervous. My eyes were shut tight the whole time during the MRI. I didn't dare open them for fear of really freaking out because of the small space. So to pass the time and NOT have a breakdown, I recited Scripture. Repeating God's Word helped calm my spirit and it filled me with peace, note I was still uncomfortable, but I knew that God was with me and that He would never leave me or forsake me (Hebrews 13:5). I focused on the book of Jude and was able (praise God) to recite the entire thing...twice! I started a third time but was (finally) pulled out about a 1/3 of the way through the book. I was so thankful to be done!
So then the next week (the week of my birthday), we get a call from the doctors office telling me that my doctor found a cyst. I needed to have another MRI done but this time with contrast (this just means that about half way through the MRI they pull you out and inject you with a serum that allows the doctors to see your brain better; it just gives them a clearer picture). My mom was actually the one who told me. I didn't break down or anything, I think my insides kind of froze for a moment. I quickly dismissed any bad thoughts and just thanked God for the moment - I did ask for strength to get through the day, though! The next MRI was scheduled and I just wanted it done. I wasn't that thrilled to be having to go back into the small space, but I was really trying (and failing at this, might I add) to see this as another opportunity to sit quietly and reflect on God's Word and to pray for others (I'm really bad at sitting down and actually praying for people!). And that's what I did. By the time I was injected with the contrast serum and put back into the "washing machine" as my brother and I called it as children, it was over and I was done. Praise God I was done.
Later that evening, though, I noticed my hands were very red and itchy. I checked my mid-section and saw that I was beginning to break out into a rash/hives! Great! I thought. I was upset but I did not want to let it control my overall view of the situation. I took some Benadryl and went to bed. When I woke up, I noticed that the rash/hives had spread. My mom called the doctor to let him know that I was having an allergic reaction to whatever I was injected with and wanted him to see me. The office told my mom that they didn't have any available appointments until the 14th of March! But by the grace of God, an appointment was available for that afternoon and I was able to be seen. I was nervous, I'm not going to lie. We weren't sure what my doctor was going to tell my mom and I - it was either going to be good or...bad? I was trying to see this as good - no matter what. That every little trail that comes into my life is intended for my good and for God's glory. That no matter the outcome, I would praise God and thank Him for His goodness. I did, however, catch myself thinking about the worst possible cases but hey, I'm human and I live in a dying world with many sicknesses.
My brethren, count it all joy when ye fall into divers temptations; Knowing this, that the trying of your faith worketh patience. - James 1:1,2
I hate waiting rooms. They make results harder - either way. We waited and waited...it felt like hours when in reality there was one other person in there, and he was waiting for his family (I assume). I think we waited a total of 10 minutes. Then we were called in and asked to wait another few minutes as the doctor finished up on another patient. He walked in and I tried to read his face - no, his eyes. In that moment, I wanted to know his thoughts; what he was thinking. I tried to "feel him out", get a sense for where he was going to lead this follow-up. He asked me the normal questions and I found myself wanting to just blurt out "Just tell me already!" - and yet, I couldn't seem to work my mouth muscles or my voicebox to form the words. Then finally, he told me that I have a 9-millimeter cyst on the pineal gland of my brain but that it is (praise God) benign. I didn't realize that I was holding my breath and let out a big sigh of relief and thanks! What a week! Being told I have a cyst, having to have another MRI, and breaking out into a rash, it was a full, hectic week and I don't even remember doing school or what I learned (my goal this week is to go over everything I think I missed!). But thank God, thank the sweet, sweet Lord.
If this has taught me anything, it has taught me that God can be trusted in all things. In sickness and in health (yes, I know that's part of the traditional wedding vows but it rings true here as well), God is good. He is not bad, or mean, or unfaithful. God is kind, just, and faithful! So, don't lose heart dear ones. Keep the faith, for joy cometh in the morning.
"...weeping may endure for a night, but joy cometh in the morning." - Psalm 30:5b
God, You are good. Every single thing that comes to pass in my life is intended for my good and Your glory. I thank You.
That sentence is easily proclaimed when times are good; family members are healthy, friends are abundant and faithful. But, why it so very hard for me to utter when the sun sinks into the horizon, out of view and the day grows cold?
My birthday week (the week of the 1st) I was tested in a way that I never thought I would be tested. Due to "normal" routine with people who are prone to having seizures, I was scheduled by my doctor to have an MRI.
I was a bit nervous. My eyes were shut tight the whole time during the MRI. I didn't dare open them for fear of really freaking out because of the small space. So to pass the time and NOT have a breakdown, I recited Scripture. Repeating God's Word helped calm my spirit and it filled me with peace, note I was still uncomfortable, but I knew that God was with me and that He would never leave me or forsake me (Hebrews 13:5). I focused on the book of Jude and was able (praise God) to recite the entire thing...twice! I started a third time but was (finally) pulled out about a 1/3 of the way through the book. I was so thankful to be done!So then the next week (the week of my birthday), we get a call from the doctors office telling me that my doctor found a cyst. I needed to have another MRI done but this time with contrast (this just means that about half way through the MRI they pull you out and inject you with a serum that allows the doctors to see your brain better; it just gives them a clearer picture). My mom was actually the one who told me. I didn't break down or anything, I think my insides kind of froze for a moment. I quickly dismissed any bad thoughts and just thanked God for the moment - I did ask for strength to get through the day, though! The next MRI was scheduled and I just wanted it done. I wasn't that thrilled to be having to go back into the small space, but I was really trying (and failing at this, might I add) to see this as another opportunity to sit quietly and reflect on God's Word and to pray for others (I'm really bad at sitting down and actually praying for people!). And that's what I did. By the time I was injected with the contrast serum and put back into the "washing machine" as my brother and I called it as children, it was over and I was done. Praise God I was done.
Later that evening, though, I noticed my hands were very red and itchy. I checked my mid-section and saw that I was beginning to break out into a rash/hives! Great! I thought. I was upset but I did not want to let it control my overall view of the situation. I took some Benadryl and went to bed. When I woke up, I noticed that the rash/hives had spread. My mom called the doctor to let him know that I was having an allergic reaction to whatever I was injected with and wanted him to see me. The office told my mom that they didn't have any available appointments until the 14th of March! But by the grace of God, an appointment was available for that afternoon and I was able to be seen. I was nervous, I'm not going to lie. We weren't sure what my doctor was going to tell my mom and I - it was either going to be good or...bad? I was trying to see this as good - no matter what. That every little trail that comes into my life is intended for my good and for God's glory. That no matter the outcome, I would praise God and thank Him for His goodness. I did, however, catch myself thinking about the worst possible cases but hey, I'm human and I live in a dying world with many sicknesses.
My brethren, count it all joy when ye fall into divers temptations; Knowing this, that the trying of your faith worketh patience. - James 1:1,2
I hate waiting rooms. They make results harder - either way. We waited and waited...it felt like hours when in reality there was one other person in there, and he was waiting for his family (I assume). I think we waited a total of 10 minutes. Then we were called in and asked to wait another few minutes as the doctor finished up on another patient. He walked in and I tried to read his face - no, his eyes. In that moment, I wanted to know his thoughts; what he was thinking. I tried to "feel him out", get a sense for where he was going to lead this follow-up. He asked me the normal questions and I found myself wanting to just blurt out "Just tell me already!" - and yet, I couldn't seem to work my mouth muscles or my voicebox to form the words. Then finally, he told me that I have a 9-millimeter cyst on the pineal gland of my brain but that it is (praise God) benign. I didn't realize that I was holding my breath and let out a big sigh of relief and thanks! What a week! Being told I have a cyst, having to have another MRI, and breaking out into a rash, it was a full, hectic week and I don't even remember doing school or what I learned (my goal this week is to go over everything I think I missed!). But thank God, thank the sweet, sweet Lord.
If this has taught me anything, it has taught me that God can be trusted in all things. In sickness and in health (yes, I know that's part of the traditional wedding vows but it rings true here as well), God is good. He is not bad, or mean, or unfaithful. God is kind, just, and faithful! So, don't lose heart dear ones. Keep the faith, for joy cometh in the morning.
"...weeping may endure for a night, but joy cometh in the morning." - Psalm 30:5b
Blessings,
Good post, Sarah! I'm sorry that you had to have that rough week, but it looks like God worked it all out for good so that you would learn more about His faithfulness. <3
ReplyDeleteThank you, Paige. This was a hard post to write but in the end, I'm glad that I did. Like all, God is still working in my life, but through this I can see His faithfulness and that is simply good and right. :)
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