Fully Surrendered

Walking by faith doesn't mean having all the answers. 

Walking the path that is set before me without it being fully illuminated is so incredibly hard and scary.

I am a type A person. My motto is "You shouldn't have to have plan B because plan A is going to work." I don't like not knowing what's coming next. I mean, if I don't know what's coming, then how can I prepare for it? I need to know what's coming next.  Well if you know anything of life, then you will know that it isn't always that predictable. 

If there has been one thing that has been a constant in my life it would have to be fear. Fear of the unknown. Fear of rejection. Fear of never seeing my dreams fulfilled. Fear of being trapped in one season because I was, duh, too afraid to walk in faith in a different direction. Fear of one chapter closing and another beginning. Fear of not being loved...the list could go on and on. 

Through much prayer and crying out to God, the Lord has helped me to see that He has not given me a spirit of fear, but of power, love and a sound mind (2 Timothy 1:7).  If the Lion of Judah goes before me, what have I to fear in this world? Easier said than done, right? Oh yes. 

However, little by little the chipping away of my fears has revealed a shaky foundation; one that has not been grounded in Christ and what He has done for me, but in my own self. Of this, I have repented and asked for forgiveness (it's a struggle daily to die to self). 

In short, I am coming to a cross road in my current season of life and I am trying to find the balance between not freaking out and excitement for a new chapter to begin.  The Lord has placed a desire on my heart to do something different and I have the impression to take action and walk boldly towards that desire...without every possible outcome/answer (this is what I am currently freaking out about).

This is scary, ya'll. I have been in one place for such a long time that I have become comfortable.

All of this, the new beginning, the end of one chapter and the beginning of another; it all scares me terribly but I have faith. I trust the One who has gone before me. He can be trusted. Even if what I thought was going to work out doesn't, it's okay because the Lord has used this lesson in life to teach me to better rely on Him. To place my all in Him. To seek to honor Him and not man. To uplift His holy name. In order for silver to reflect its maker, it must be purified over and over. In and out of the fire it must go. While this lesson may not seem like a hardship to some, it has been for me. Whenever the Lord removes something in your life that has taken His place, it. is. painful. 

If you happen upon this, pray that the Lord would grant me discernment in making a wise decision. Pray that I would have peace of mind whatever He lays on my heart. Ultimately, pray that the Lord's will be done, no matter what. I pray this for you as well.

Blessings,

Sarah

Behold, I will do a new thing; now it shall spring forth; shall ye now know it? I will even make a way in the wilderness, and rivers in the desert. Isaiah 43:19