New Beginnings

Life. It has been hectic lately, filled with new joys and familiar challenges. 

For me, I have been in full-on wedding planning mode.  I must confess that I have forgotten to sit in the "mess" of wedding planning, moving, finalizing last-minute details, and just breathe. 

Today has been for that: breathing. 

I was writing out some sweet cards this morning for my bridal party, while doing that I had some praise and worship music playing softly in my ears. As I read over the words I jotted down, I cried. Not because of what I wrote, but because of what they were representing: a new beginning. A farewell if you will. 

Over the past year of traveling back and forth, knowing that one day this day, my soon-to-be wedding day, would come, I realized that the emotions would eventually hit me. While I know they haven't fully hit me, I am beginning to feel them. My life here, my sweet and blessed life here with my family is coming to a close. Ending one life, beginning another. I know that this part can be painful not only to me, but to the ones I am essentially leaving behind. It's not just about my life and that will change, but it's also about how their lives are going to change. It's the not being here to see nieces and nephews grow, new ones being born (and come February I will be the aunt to 15 nieces and nephews!) - I am going to miss out on all of that. Is it sad? Yes, but it is also exciting because I will be starting a new chapter. 

The phrase that continues to come to mind whenever I think of my relationship with Missouri Man over the past two years (how is that even possible?) is this: How can I say thanks for the things You have done for me...To God be the glory! Truly that is all I can say, to God be all the glory for what He has given. Despite me sharing the sad that accompanies the normal things of getting married, I am also extremely excited to begin my new life! Part of me cannot wait to begin putting our home together, making it a warm, loving, and peaceful dwelling for my husband to come back to at the end of a long day. I can't wait to not be separated by miles and miles and the only way of communication coming from FaceTime (though, let me just tell you how thankful I am to actually have a way of communication!). 

The other part of me, though smaller if I must admit, just wants to slow down. I find myself wanting to wait, and hang on while I struggle to grasp any shreds of the life I have ever only known because, I know deep down, it is getting ready to change forever. Change is hard and adapting to something new, regardless of what it is, can be difficult. That being said, change can also be really good. In order for flowers to bloom, the seed must be sown. Some seeds even need to be cut open in order for them to grow properly. Then they're covered with soil, watered and left to germinate. And that can take weeks, even months before any sign of growth is seen. But then the beautiful day comes and pop! New life. Imagine the relief of that seed, after weeks of darkness, wet, hot and then cold, finally the sun, fresh air and the lovely skies. Talk about a lot of change! 

Who would have thought that this would be my story? 35 year long chapters and then, bam! The Lord created FaceBook and everything changed. And now, my life is comprised of moving boxes, suitcases, wedding details, bills, FaceTime calls and more waiting. It's all beautiful though. It's all from Him, given and blessed. O what a joy it is to be able to accept this from His hand! Lord, may I offer it back to You for it is Yours. May I treat what I have with grace and honor, knowing that lives will change and there will be tears of joy and tears of sadness. 

To every thing there is a season, and a time to every purpose under heaven. - Eccl 3:1

O taste and see that the LORD is good: blessed is the man that trusteth in him. - Ps 34:8