"Rid me of myself."
"Rid me of myself" is from a song titled "My Savoir My God". I've already done a post about the song and you can read my post here.
2013. That's the year if you haven't noticed. I mark this year because so far it has been on of the hardest for me; physically, emotionally, and spiritually (I may have said that in a previous blog post already).
Back in the summer the ladies in our church started a Bible study and the book we are using is by Nancy Leigh DeMoss and is titled, "Lies Women Believe...And The Truth That Sets Them Free". So far it has been one of the most convicting books I've ever read - the Word of God being #1, of course.
In the beginning of my studies, my prayer was that the Lord would open my eyes and reveal to me more of my sinful self, and through that I'd see more of how magnificent and beautiful He actually is. "For great is the LORD, and greatly to be praised" 1 Chronicles 16:25a - "Great is the LORD, and greatly to be praised; and his greatness is unsearchable." Psalm 145:3 Ahhh, how the Lord humbles us!
The other night I was just laying down in my bed waiting to fall asleep and this thought came to mind: I'm getting what I prayed for. I prayed that God would convict me through this Bible study, and He is; I prayed that my eyes would be opened to reveal more of my sin; He has begun to open them; I prayed that He for growing; He is watering and pruning me. I just didn't know how to handle it when it was coming at me. I still don't! But the Lord is gracious and He is guiding me (and is ever with me) every step of the way.
At first it didn't feel like the Lord was working in me. Oh boy, it didn't! In my selfish pride I was thinking that I was having some bad "luck", and that's about it. I wasn't thinking that maybe the Lord was working in me. Nope. That thought never crossed ma mind. But things kept happening, and they weren't even really bad, just convicting things. And who likes conviction? No one. No one likes to see who they really are. Why? Because we are ugly. Ugly with sin. And who wants to see that? God is showing me who I really am. And that in itself has been a hard "pill" to swallow.
The Chronicles of Narnia" are some of my absolute favorite books to read! I watched the BBC version more times than I'd like to count, and in a small way I feel like the books have become part of who I am today. Short side story: My sister and I (before my younger sisters where born. There were just two older brothers, us two, then two younger brothers.) would pretend that we were Lucy and Susan! Ha! Such fun memories!
Back to the point.
Well, in The Voyage of the Dawn Treader, Eustace Scrubb had gotten himself turned into a dragon - by his greediness. Aslan tells Eustace to follow him (I'm retelling it by the book, not the film) to a pool to bathe his sore dragon leg. At the pool Eustace desperately tries to rid himself of the dragon scales by scratching and clawing at his own skin, but can't. He couldn't do it; it couldn't be done by himself. He needed someone else to do it. Aslan told him, "You will have to let me undress you." Aslan then tore Eustace's skin off and dropped him into the pool. Eustace then bathed and in do so he found that he had been turned back into a boy!
I can't fix myself. Only He can.
No one can. If we could changed things about ourselves, I think that there would be a TON of things we'd change: things that God gave us that are beautiful. "Beauty is in the eye of the beholder."
As I think about it now, it's almost like God is peeling off layers: each layer represents a part of my selfishness and sinfulness. He's revealing myself to me. Better yet, He's revealing more of Himself to me. Does that make sense? It's kinda like an onion. It has layers upon layers of flesh. The more you peel the better the fruit! (is an onion a fruit??)
In no way is the Lord done with me yet - we are never fully done until we reach heaven. There are still tons of things the Lord is teaching me. This is a learning process, not just a quick test.
May you find the true joy in completely surrendering to Him!
Blessings,
Sarah
2013. That's the year if you haven't noticed. I mark this year because so far it has been on of the hardest for me; physically, emotionally, and spiritually (I may have said that in a previous blog post already).
Back in the summer the ladies in our church started a Bible study and the book we are using is by Nancy Leigh DeMoss and is titled, "Lies Women Believe...And The Truth That Sets Them Free". So far it has been one of the most convicting books I've ever read - the Word of God being #1, of course.
In the beginning of my studies, my prayer was that the Lord would open my eyes and reveal to me more of my sinful self, and through that I'd see more of how magnificent and beautiful He actually is. "For great is the LORD, and greatly to be praised" 1 Chronicles 16:25a - "Great is the LORD, and greatly to be praised; and his greatness is unsearchable." Psalm 145:3 Ahhh, how the Lord humbles us!
The other night I was just laying down in my bed waiting to fall asleep and this thought came to mind: I'm getting what I prayed for. I prayed that God would convict me through this Bible study, and He is; I prayed that my eyes would be opened to reveal more of my sin; He has begun to open them; I prayed that He for growing; He is watering and pruning me. I just didn't know how to handle it when it was coming at me. I still don't! But the Lord is gracious and He is guiding me (and is ever with me) every step of the way.
At first it didn't feel like the Lord was working in me. Oh boy, it didn't! In my selfish pride I was thinking that I was having some bad "luck", and that's about it. I wasn't thinking that maybe the Lord was working in me. Nope. That thought never crossed ma mind. But things kept happening, and they weren't even really bad, just convicting things. And who likes conviction? No one. No one likes to see who they really are. Why? Because we are ugly. Ugly with sin. And who wants to see that? God is showing me who I really am. And that in itself has been a hard "pill" to swallow.
Back to the point.
Well, in The Voyage of the Dawn Treader, Eustace Scrubb had gotten himself turned into a dragon - by his greediness. Aslan tells Eustace to follow him (I'm retelling it by the book, not the film) to a pool to bathe his sore dragon leg. At the pool Eustace desperately tries to rid himself of the dragon scales by scratching and clawing at his own skin, but can't. He couldn't do it; it couldn't be done by himself. He needed someone else to do it. Aslan told him, "You will have to let me undress you." Aslan then tore Eustace's skin off and dropped him into the pool. Eustace then bathed and in do so he found that he had been turned back into a boy!
I can't fix myself. Only He can.
No one can. If we could changed things about ourselves, I think that there would be a TON of things we'd change: things that God gave us that are beautiful. "Beauty is in the eye of the beholder."
As I think about it now, it's almost like God is peeling off layers: each layer represents a part of my selfishness and sinfulness. He's revealing myself to me. Better yet, He's revealing more of Himself to me. Does that make sense? It's kinda like an onion. It has layers upon layers of flesh. The more you peel the better the fruit! (is an onion a fruit??)
May you find the true joy in completely surrendering to Him!
Blessings,
Sarah
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